It Ain’t Easy, But It’s Necessary

Throughout our lives we have all faced things that we either love or hate. The things we love, we hasten to perform, but those we hate we shy away from. No matter how far you run, the discomforts of life will one-day over take you.

Living in a world where sin is welcomed, we are often left wrestling with the effects that hurts have left behind in our lives. The scars of molestation; the feeling of a void after being abandoned by a father who disowned you and a mother too preoccupied with her own life to pour into yours. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, pains from abortions have all haunted you. The anger that turned into resentment, then resentment into bitterness because that someone who said they loved you, wronged you. Now this bitterness brews within your soul and has driven even the strongest to the point of assault and murder.

Yet in the mist of all this chaos God beckons us to forgive. How God? How can you be all knowing and Omni-present and still ask me to forgive someone who violated my rights? Afterall, this bitterness is the one thing I possess that no one has been able to take away from me. It has become my trophy. I boast about it to anyone who will listen. I have told strangers while sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. I use it to trash my violator’s reputation and to expose his/her darkness. And you want me to give it up? But they have never acknowledged their wrong against me, not to mention apologizing. Still with much gentleness, Jesus says, “I FORGAVE. ”

God is not minimizing your hurts or your reasons for having them. He’s just saying JESUS took away your rights to be bitter upon the cross. Throughout all the false accusations and physical abuse Jesus pushed aside His rights to be bitter and prayed, “Father, FORGIVE them, they know not what they do.” God is calling us to be Christ-like (Galatians 2:20). Your forgiving them is not for their sake, but for yours. Holding onto bitterness can eventually cause your physical body to shut down. One sickness after the other starts to creep into your life. You are consumed emotionally with the thoughts of hurts from the past. Like watching your favorite movie, you rehash the scenes over and over in your mind. You are in bondage to the hurts of yesterday. You carry those scars around from one relationship to another. You continually make bad choices because Satan has convinced you that’s the way it’s meant to be. The Devil is a lie (John 8:44).

Jesus said, “I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10). You will never experience life until you come out of the darkness into the light of God. In God there is a peace that brings freedom from past hurts. Is it easy to forgive someone who’s robbed you of your rights to have a normal childhood? Or to feel loved, as a woman/man should? No, it’s not easy, it’s just necessary.

To forgive and forget is an inconceivable notion to someone that’s injured. But it is not that you never remember it’s that God removes the sting from the hurt.

Jesus died to set you free. He doesn’t want you to wait until the person who hurt you gets saved and repents. That day may or may not come. Believe me, just as Jesus is reaching out to you, He’s reaching out to them also. We each must go to the Lord individually. If you are willing to let JESUS come into your heart and change you, repeat the prayer below. HE IS LISTENING.

 

Prayer for Salvation and Deliverance

Dear Lord Jesus, I come to you today, humbly admitting that I’ve tried everything in life but YOU. I believe in you Lord, and I confess that you are the Son of God. I know you were crucified for me and cancelled my ticket to hell. Come Sweet Jesus, and abide in me. I lay at your feet all the hurts of my past. Give me the strength, right now, to forgive all those who have hurt me, just as You have forgiven me. I know it won’t be easy, but I trust that You will send laborers across my path to teach me how to walk in love. Thank you for directing my feet in the path that they should go. In Your Precious and Most Holy Name I Pray. Amen

 

John 18:17,18,25-27

Earlier in the garden Peter had taken his sword and cut off one of the soldier’s ear. Jesus told him to put up his sword for he was trying to fight a war that was not his to fight. Peter was brave as long as he thought he would see Jesus slip from the enemy’s grasp as he had done so many times before. But this time was different; it was time for Jesus to surrender.

Afterward Peter followed from a distance. John 18:15 states, one disciple went into the courtyard with Jesus, while Peter stood at the door outside. That is where the trouble started. The disciple that went in brought Peter inside but the doorkeeper’s comments made Peter stop by the enemy’s fire. At the enemy’s fire you start to accept what they accept. You take your eyes off Jesus and His Word and start to let the devil convince you this is as far as you can go. If Peter had stayed with Jesus, he would have remained strong during this ordeal. Deut. 4:9b…take heed, and guard your life diligently (amplified). The most important strategy for beating temptations is to avoid them altogether. An alcoholic should not hang out at a bar. A person who wants to lose weight should not pick up coffee at a donut shop. A person fighting sexual perversion should not subscribe to HBO. Matt 26:41 Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Look at two examples of people who had the opportunity to choose Jesus’ Way or the enemy’s. Mark 5:25,26 tells the story of a woman who for 12 years had suffered an infirmity. She had gone to doctor after doctor, spent all she had on remedies, yet she still remained sick, broke, weary, oppressed, and was getting worse. By law she was not to go out in public lest she be stoned. Others mocked her to shame and no doubt took advantage of her since she had to depend on someone to bring her supplies. Yet somewhere within there remained a Ray of Hope that would not let her give up. Luke 4:14,18,19,21 shares that finally she heard about Jesus. She had a choice; she could continue in her present state or take a chance of losing her life to gain a life. So she pressed and as the story reads, she was made whole.

We all know the story of David. When he took his brothers some supplies, they were sitting by the enemy’s fire afraid. David could have sat with them ad listen as Goliath insulted the Name of the Lord, went back home, or allow the Spirit of God to rise up in him and tear the devil’s kingdom down. Goliath was a giant, David a teenager. His brothers were embarrassed. Saul’s armor and sword didn’t fit. No one would have blamed him if he did nothing. But David chose God’s Way and was victorious.

The Message Bible warns, “Stay alert; be in prayer so you don’t wander into temptation without even knowing you are in danger. There’s a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.” Matthew 26:41

Things that we consider harmless are devices that the devil plants in this world to distract God’s children from His Word. You will be held accountable for sitting among gossips and backbiters even if you don’t say a word. Your presence speaks acceptance. If you carry tales of “I heard,” you are just as guilty as the one who started the rumor. II Peter 2:9 states that, “The Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptation.” But the godly must choose to be delivered first. The devil will offer you many doors, but you have to decide if you will enter. The Spirit of God is always teaching and guiding. We must decide to listen and adhere to His Word.

Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly…

By the enemy’s fire, you find no comfort, no peace, and no relief. It will be like being in a rowboat caught in a storm at sea. HELPLESS & HOPELESS.

 

 

One day while cleaning, I glanced out of my window and the revelation of survival became transparent. It unfolded like a scene in a movie revealing its plot magically. Last spring I planted a rose bush that I had watched go through its many seasons. The planting naturally was shocking due to the transferring from one culture into another. However, it adjusted bringing a small crop of blooms during the summer days. It had not matured and its branches were not strong, but the bush’s production was such a testament to God’s grace. II Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak. (Good News Bible)

Fall emerged and the blooms fell to the ground. The once dark green leaves faded in color as the season beckoned them into a time of rest. As winter knocked on our doors, the rose bush was about to face it’s fiercest test thus far. The cold short days and the long icy nights stretched its endurance as it fought through icicles hanging from its limbs. The stormy periods of our lives appear to be our darkest days. We feel deserted by man and by God. My soul has spent many a restless nights battling the demons of the dark. Tortuous moments when bills were due and the bank was dry. Needs beckoned for my attention and there wasn’t an answer in sight. Hush now, let it go, let it rest. I tried to will my mind to sleep and soothe my heavy heart into peace. Needing desperately to believe that God was in control. “Dear Lord, yes I believe, but help my unbelief. (Mark 9:24) It is at these moments we must decide that we are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:35-39) Just as sure as the rose bush must go through its seasons, God promised us that trials and tribulations would come into our lives. That’s why He teaches us we must go through growing and pruning seasons. He also promised that He would never leave us and we will always be able to rely on His strength. (Hebrews 13:5) It seems like our winters are here for eternity, but like a ray of hope, spring bursts through those darken times and suddenly the skies are illuminated with possibilities. The sounds of life returned as the birds chirped and the squirrels ran up and down the trees. Suddenly, my eyes saw the goodness of God. Three of the most beautiful blooms were testifying that if God said it, He would perform it. They survived the winter of their lives. Their petals were magnificent in design and there was no sign of any struggles. Ecclesiastes 3 says, “To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven.” Storms will come; death will come; struggles will come and we won’t know why. But so will spring and life. God promised. Don’t give up.

 

Sticks and stone will break my bones but words will never hurt me. We have chanted this phrase more times than we can count as a child growing up. It was taught to us by well meaning parents trying to minimize the pain we felt that came from harsh insulting words by another child or adult. We were taught that as long as they didn’t put their hands on us than words would cause no damage. They were wrong.

Teachings like this helped get us through our childhood standing on our feet but covered in invisible Band-Aids. Words do hurt and they leave emotional scars that as adults we still recall. Remember uncle so and so saying that Joe was tall and had long legs like his daddy. And Pearl and her sister were pretty like their mother. But that other one, I don’t know who she looks like but she didn’t take after our side of the family. We all remember the comparison of the grades or the hair length or our sizes, and even the shades of our skin tones. If words would never hurt us, why do we still remember remarks like these?

In the third chapter of James, he talked about being able to control horses by putting bits into their mouths. And how ships, as large as they are, are controlled by a very small rudder How a tiny spark can set a whole forest afire. He compared the tongue to a fire that could set our whole life ablaze. In verses 7 and 8, it says that all kinds of animals can be tame, but no man can tame the tongue.

Why would the Holy Spirit lead James to devote a whole chapter to reveal the power that lies in our mouths? Because God knows that just like sticks and stones, words do hurt. James describes the tongue as being full of deadly poison. It is a weapon that can be used to lift man up and tear him down. We use it to praise and to destroy. What you say and what you don’t say are both important. To use proper speech you must not only say the right words at the right time but also not say what you shouldn’t (Commentary of NLT)

Words that you send out can never be retrieved. The uncontrolled tongue can do terrible damage. It is used by satan to divide families, races, and nations. The comment that was made about the victims of Katrina being better off than what they were can never be recanted. The damage that such a careless statement caused cannot be reversed. Long after the dusk has settled the scars will remain. Words that might have been spoken with good intentions will always be remembered for the degrading way they came out.

Romans 12:1,2 states, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. (2) And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” When God ask us to present our bodies as living sacrifices, He is asking us to lay down our own desires and follow Him. When others confront us with hurtful acts our first reaction is to retaliate. They spread rumors about me, I spread rumors about them. They call me something other than my name, they are called a … The cycle goes on over and over again. This is copying the behavior of the world. An eye for eye. By asking you not to be conformed to the world, God is requesting that we choose different ways of handling conflicts other than retaliation. He does not want us to mold or pattern our ways after the conditions of the world. The Holy Spirit wants to reeducate our minds.

Romans 8:5, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.”(New Kings James Version)

Same Verse in the New Living Translation: “Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.”

Same verse from the Amplified Bible: “For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.”

There are two categories of people talked about here. Those who follow after the world and its ways, and those who follow after Christ. By dying on the cross, Jesus gave us a way out. Now, we don’t have to be consumed with evil. Daily we must choose to either use our tongue for evil or we can allow the Holy Spirit to teach us to stop and think about what Jesus would do in all situations and do and say the right things. In some circumstances, say nothing. God lays out a choice before us. We can choose to stay the same, consumed by jealousy, selfishness, pride, and earthly unspiritual demonic ignorance. Or we can choose the pure undefiled wisdom that is from God. That promotes peace, consideration, gentleness, and a plan to strive for harmony everyday of our lives. Whether faced with sticks or stones or words, they will all be painful. But as true Christians, just as we lay down our sticks and stones and refuse to throw them, let us lay down our most powerful weapon, the tongue, for the sake of peace.

Other scriptures for study:

Proverbs 18:21 (New King James Version) Death and life are in the power of the tongue

Isaiah 50:4 (New King James Version) The Lord God has given Me the tongue of the learned, That I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear to her as the learned.

Isaiah 50:4 (Amplified Bible) [The Servant of God says] The Lord God has given Me the tongue of a disciple and of one who is taught, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He wakens Me morning by morning, He wakens My ear to hear as a disciple [as one who is taught].

Psalm 35:8 (New King James Version) And my tongue shall speak of Your righteousness and of Your praise all the daylong.

Psalms 39:1 (New Living Translation) I said to myself, “I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me.”

Psalms 52:2-4 (New Living Translation) All day long you plot destruction. Your tongue cuts like a sharp razor; you’re an expert at telling lies. You love evil more than good and lies more than truth. You love to destroy others with your words, you liar!

Psalms 52:2-4 (Amplified Bible) Your tongue devises wickedness; it is like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. You love evil more than good and lying rather than to speak righteousness, justice, and right. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! You love all destroying and devouring words, O deceitful tongue.

 

Proverb 3:5-7 (Message Bible) Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all Run to God! Run from evil!

I like this translation because it leaves no room for error. To misinterpret any part of this passage will be due to you choosing to close your mind and heart to God’s instructions. After we accept Jesus into our hearts we think that we are finished, but now the actual work begins. You must accept Jesus into your lives. Then the lesson of TRUST starts.

You came forward for prayer because you knew that the things that were happening in your life were destroying you. The countless hours you have spent nursing your past has been wasted time that rendered no fruit. The tears and anger have not changed anything or anyone. Suddenly, God extends a hand of mercy and love and you reached back. The Strong Concordance defines “Save” as, God delivers, protects, heals, preserves, saves and makes whole those who believe, trust in and rely on Him. Those were all the benefits made available when you accepted God’s offer of a new beginning. The manifestation of those gifts will come when you stop trying to do things yourself, and learn to trust and rely on God. Many people want their lives to change, but they don’t want to do what God is showing them to do. You cannot mix worldly wisdom with God’s wisdom. You see, we want to blame everyone else for our troubles, but the devastation of storms come when we refuse to yield to the directions of God. When we walk in disobedience we face events we see and those we don’t see. When you meet someone they don’t walk up to you and say, “Hello, my name is John (Jane) Doe and I have AIDS.” That’s why we have to rely on the Holy Spirit with His amazing power, who sees and knows all. None of us will ever know the answer to all questions. But God does. When you purchase a television set you don’t know for certain that it will work when you get it home. You trust that it will do what it’s presumed to do. It’s the same with God, you TRUST! We don’t always like the way God deals with us. But we are confident that He will never make a mistake. Allowing Him to chisel the foolishness from us won’t be easy, but in order to be the best we can be, it’s necessary.

It’s insulting to refuse to let God have control of your life when you have allowed others that have brought you nothing but sadness to dominate over you. We are talking about our Savior who died for us. The one who freely gave of Himself. Our Lord, that’s seated on the right hand of the Father cheering us on. Why would we put our trust in anyone except Him? Afterall, He’s the one who paid it all for our sake. Why remain in turmoil one more moment? I can’t begin to count the wasted hours I have spent holding onto the world’s way of doing things. I had only results of failure to show time after time for the fruitless efforts of depending on my own wisdom. I pray that this writing will encourage you to take your eyes off the world and the things that it has to offer. You have tried that long enough. Take a long intense look at your life and be TRUTHFUL. It has not been a bed of roses or you would not be looking at a web site designed to help hurting people. The good news about releasing your hold on earthly habits in your life is that you not only gain eternal life, but God rewards you with great things here on earth. Godly husbands (wives), beautiful babies that are loved, prosperity, favor, health, and most of all PEACE and JOY!